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With the completion of 2016 upon us and 2017 right around the corner, I look forward to the hope of a new year. Hope for personal growth in my faith. Hope for an ever-growing closeness in my marriage. Hope for my child to continue to explore who Jesus is and what He means to her. I have other hopes for those I love but none so pressing on my heart than their faith in our one true Hope.

This song, Noel by Chris Tomlin featuring Lauren Daigle, is one of my favourite Christmas songs. I simply love how the gospel message of Christ’s saving grace is woven into the story of His birth. It is a great reminder that God planned for our redemption even before He created the world.

As a child, I was a people pleaser. I quickly understood the rules and abided by them. Knowing what was expected of me allowed me to achieve goals. I had a firm grasp on obedience and its reward as well as disobedience and its punishment. This behaviour also flowed into my faith. I can recall many times as a child and young teen where I felt I needed to do something as retribution for my sins. There were many altar calls responded to as I felt that my sins continually separated me from my Saviour and had to be atoned for afresh.

I enjoy being in control. I like when things are planned out and everything goes according to schedule. I enjoy organization and punctuality and structure. I don’t ask for much, eh? The worst feeling for me would be when I feel that I am not in control. So, it should come as no surprise that this is exactly the area of my life that God allows challenges to come my way to teach me again and again that He is ultimately in control of all aspects of my life.

I tend to be in a reflective state of mind at this time of year. This past weekend we took our daughter to get her annual picture with Santa taken. Even though she’s nine years old, she still loves the magic of the season. After posting her cuteness online, Facebook shared memories with me of past Christmas postings and I was able to see how much she’s grown each year through the numerous pictures we’ve posted. And it struck me how this freshly posted picture will be simply a memory in, what feels like, a blink of an eye.

When I contemplate finding my rest in Christ, I think it happens two ways. Most importantly, we become at peace with God upon our salvation in Christ. Our hearts no longer are in darkness but filled with the light of Christ. Secondly, we daily need to find our rest in Him. This is much harder for me to do! In my propensity to be anxious and my desire to be in control, resting in Christ becomes a willful act of worship. It is not in my (sinful) nature to be at rest. My mind swirls with thoughts of things to do, things I’ve said, things I shouldn’t have said, etc. The list is endless

This song, What a Beautiful Name by Hillsong Worship, is one that I have been listening to on repeat lately. It shares so powerfully about the absolutely amazing God that we serve. In my sinfulness, I know that I am no comparison to the perfection of Christ. But, He chose to come to earth to save those that would call on His name. A name that is filled with wonder and power. There is none like Him. To know that He is using His power to change my heart to make me more like Him is enough to cause me to desire to change. His loving conviction of my weaknesses cause me to look to Him for the strength to become more than I am.

When I hear the words of Come Thou Fount, in which the author says he feels “prone to wander”, I think about the incident with Adalai in Mexico. I know that God is perfect and unable to sin and that in His sovereignty, He would know where I am all the time. But, I think that in my times of wandering, God must have sought after me in a similar manner that we searched for Adalai in that foreign city. He would not stop until He brought me back into the fold. He desired for me to be in His family.

Jeremy Camp’s song, Christ in Me spoke to me about where my priorities lie. My desire in life is to follow Christ and in doing so, others will see Him in my actions and words. I am not always successful at this. Just ask my family! But, my desires have been broken away and changed over the years so that my focus is now more fixed on Christ. I know I have a long way to go. I will not achieve perfection in this lifetime. Thankfully, God still uses me in my sinfulness and brokenness because His Son lives in me.

For the past several weeks, I have been part of a Bible study on the armour of God. Although I am only half way through the study, it has been great to work through each item that I need to keep my faith strong and active. It is not surprising that this study became available to me at this time in my life.